Stayed awake 40 hours

…or about that long.  After the ride home from the night at the airport, I knew if I went right to bed and slept, it would just prolong the process of resetting my body clock.  I managed to stay up until 9pm last night.  Having my usual breakfast, followed by a trip
to PT’s to get a very tasty cup of coffee, started the new day.

I actually got a lot done yesterday, and after a night’s sleep, I accomplished a reasonable amount today before my body clock made clear that it had not yet reset.  In the late afternoon it hit me that it was time to go to bed in Germany.  The obvious problem is that I am no longer in Germany but in Kansas.  I am writing this after 10pm in hopes that a second night going to bed at Kansas bedtime will help convince this confused brain to shift to Central Daylight time.

I would like to say otherwise but again returning home did not bring with it a feeling of
being where I should be – at least at first.  I was not really anxious to be here again.  I don’t mind being here.  It is just that the longing to be home that used to come as the time to return approached has ceased.  I am not unhappy to be here.  I have enjoyed listening to the waterfall and sitting on the deck a little.  The suitcase is unpacked, the clothes are washed, the birds are fed, the mail has been processed and there are now a few groceries in the house.

There have been some enjoyable moments looking ahead at future activities.  I got a last minute ticket to the local Symphony tomorrow evening.  The Farmers’ Market will be tomorrow morning.  In the afternoon there is a small Oktoberfest planned by the German Club here in town.  I may check with someone there about the possibility of getting some help in working on learning German.   Practicing the few words I know while in Germany encouraged me on that possibility.  There may be a trip to KC to The Nelson Gallery with a few folks who know art.  That would be a treat.  I am really excited about the new Kaufmann Center in Kansas City and the concerts, opera, ballet, theater that are scheduled for the coming year.

Later in the month I am heading to Oklahoma to visit friends for a couple of days, spend a
couple of days in Oklahoma City so that I can visit with former parishioners there, and then spend two nights at St. Francis of the Woods Center for Spiritual Renewal.  November will include Thanksgiving in Louisville where both my children and families will be together.  December includes a trip to Wisconsin for a Nephew’s wedding.

Is this house is becoming the place I visit between trips?  What an odd time in life this is.  The trip to Europe included some elements that seemed to indicate a transition from one stage to another in this of the journey of healing.  Sometimes I feel as if I am a spectator with very little idea where the journey is going.  While I am making decisions on what to do next day by day and week by week and month by month, I do not seem to be in
charge of the journey itself.

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